It Was Always You Read online

  Caleb shrugged, his smile fading away. “That’s all I‘ve ever known from girls.”

  “You’ve never had a girlfriend?” I asked in disbelief.

  He shook his head hesitantly, as if he wasn’t sure about the information he had just given me.

  “Why not?” I asked. “I can’t believe there weren’t any girls who wanted a relationship with you, which means it was you who didn’t want one. Why?” I was burning with curiosity by now. I had never heard of such a thing.

  His eyes stayed glued to mine as we drifted under the moon, and when he spoke his voice was low, all teasing gone. “I saw what my dad went through after my mom left and I’m not willing to do that to myself. I won’t fall for someone just to have them hurt me like that.”

  I reached for his arm. “It wouldn't be like that. You only have to find the right person. Look at my parents. They’ve been married all this time and they’re in love. Look at Simon and Katie; they’re proof that real love never dies.”

  Caleb shook his head. “I know it doesn’t. I can tell my dad loves my mom. Even after she left us, left him; he still loves her. Now he has to live with it. I won’t do it; I can’t.”

  I pitied him in that moment, wondering how he could think like that, and my thoughts circled back to his mom. Did she even wonder about her son having these kinds of problems from her leaving? How could she leave and never look back? I couldn’t imagine it.

  I rubbed his arm. “I hope you find someone anyway, Caleb. It would be wrong to rob some lucky girl of her chance with you.” I smiled kindly and moved my hand away, but he reached for it and gave it a squeeze.

  “Thank you, Amy.”

  Present Day

  Despite my annoyance at the memory I just re-lived, I smiled. Caleb’s reaction to the cold water was still funny. I thought of how he had opened up to me that night and winced when old feelings began brewing.

  I stepped out of the water and stripped down to my swimsuit. I waded out to my thighs, hissing against the chill of the water before deciding to get it over with. With a bounce, I raised my arms up and dove under the water, swimming a short distance before surfacing. After a few minutes of swimming, I wiped my face and glanced toward the trees with the hammocks. I did a double take. There was movement and a blonde-haired man with a black shirt was retreating. My heart pummeled as I swam until my feet touched bottom. It was him; I knew it. Once on the grass, I quickened my pace through the trees, dripping as I followed the trail I had seen him on. I shivered when a small breeze blew, and I stopped, short of breath. Another glimpse of the black shirt again and I walked forward, unable to stop myself. Some invisible force was beckoning me to him. After months of avoiding Caleb, here I was chasing after him.

  Footsteps sounded closer and I stopped in my tracks. What would I say? What would he say? My extremities were tingling with nerves while I waited. I closed my eyes and worked to slow my breathing. The footsteps stopped and I opened my eyes.

  “What are you doing in the shade of the trees? Aren’t you cold?” Byron’s eyes tightened in concern.

  I was wrong then. It must have been Byron with his black shirt. I tried not to be disappointed and smiled. “You made it.”

  “Here.” Byron snapped a towel open and wrapped it around me before cocooning me in his arms.

  “Thank you. I am a little cold now that I’m out of the water.”

  Byron ran his hands up and down my arms. “Were you done with the water already?”

  “No. I was, um, looking for you.” I swallowed my guilt.

  “Good.” He leaned in for a kiss.

  We swam and played in the water, but it wasn’t long before Byron and I were wrapped in each other’s arms.

  “Hey, you two!” Katie called from the shore with a hand on her hip. She waved. “It’s almost 5:00 and we’re having dinner at 6:30. Just thought you would want a heads-up, Amy.”

  I waved in return. “You’re here. Thank you!” I called before she retreated.

  Byron’s disappointed groan drew my attention back to him. I smiled and kissed him once more. “Sorry. We’re being summoned.”

  Byron looked into my eyes for a long time and anxiety started to build in me. I was never quite sure why I had this reaction when he did this. I forced myself not to panic as I held his gaze.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, bringing his hand to the side of my face.

  I forced a nod. “I’m good.”

  He searched my face and met my eyes again. “Amy, are you happy?”

  His question caught me off guard and I laughed nervously. “What do you mean? Of course I am.”

  Byron’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.

  I was annoyed at myself. I was as happy with Byron as I had been with anyone. More happy even, and I wanted to reassure him, and myself, of that.

  I took his face in my hands. “Hey, I really am happy with us, Byron.” I kissed him and pulled away, meeting his eyes.

  “Okay.” He smiled. “Me too.”

  CHAPTER 4

  After Byron and I parted ways, I headed to my room and stopped outside my door. There were noises coming from inside and I leaned closer to listen. Realizing what it was, I pressed my lips together to keep from bursting out in laughter. Katie and Simon were in my room, and I could hear Simon saying Katie’s name and moaning. I shook my head. I wasn’t about to let them get away with this. And in my room!

  I opened the door, but what I walked into wasn’t what I had expected.

  Katie was perched on Simon’s chest, on my bed, with a pair of tweezers to Simon’s eyebrows. She plucked a hair and Simon moaned again. I grinned at the sight and cleared my throat, causing them both to jump as I laughed. “Wha-wha—” I couldn’t even speak through my fit.

  Simon sat up quickly and pushed Katie away. “Saved by the bell,” he said with relief. He left my room so fast, I didn't even have the chance to tease him.

  I straightened up and cleared my throat. “What the heck was that?”

  Katie laughed. “He had a couple of eyebrow hairs that needed tweezing and he wouldn’t do it. So I coerced him onto the bed, climbed on him, and ambushed the little devils with your tweezers.” She held them up and clipped them together.

  I laughed again and shook my head at her. “You tease! Poor Simon.”

  “Whatever. It needed to be done. Especially before our pictures on Saturday,” Katie said matter-of-factly.

  I nodded. “Very true.”

  Katie handed over the tweezers. “Thanks for the loan. Simon didn’t expect it in your room. He thought we were getting up to no good.”

  “You’re mean!” I teased, walking toward the bathroom. I stopped and whipped my head around to face Katie again. “Hey,” I said scrunching my nose. “Simon was willing to do that on my bed? Gross.”

  “Eh.” She shrugged her shoulders dismissively.

  I grimaced but brushed away the idea of them in my bed.

  “Well?” Katie asked.

  I put my tweezers in a bag and looked over. “Well what?”

  “Did you see Caleb?” She raised an eyebrow like I was hiding something.

  I shook my head in confusion. “No, not yet. Why?”

  She frowned. “Oh. I saw him when I got here, and he said he’d been down at the lake. He mentioned he saw you, so I assumed you two spoke.”

  It was him that was watching me from the trees then. “I thought I saw him, but when I followed him, he was gone.” I spoke out loud before thinking it through.

  Katie came closer, looking more than curious. “You followed him? Why? I thought you wanted to avoid him?”

  I didn't answer her right away. I was too busy trying to decide how I felt about him stalking me. I had to admit, it didn’t bother me as much as it probably should have. How long had he been standing there? I blinked, and saw Caleb watching me from across a fire…

  Six Years Earlier…

  The camp chairs were put aside and sleeping bags now encircled the firepit. Katie rol
led her bag out between Olivia and Simon, and I set mine up on the other side of Olivia.

  I stood, removing my jacket and shoes, and glanced around the fire. My eyes stopped on Caleb. He was watching me, and I looked away, settling into my sleeping bag. I laid on my stomach with my arms folded on my pillow and peeked at Caleb again. His eyes were on me, unmoving.

  It was all I could do at first not to squirm under his gaze, but after a few moments, a calm came over me. That calm transitioned into something warmer and soon, I was breathing heavier than I should have been. Caleb’s light eyes smoldered at me across the dying fire. I bit my lip unintentionally and his lips propped up in a smile. I grinned, but not until I was hiding behind my eyelids.

  After a while of lying there, sleep wouldn't take me. I opened my eyes to turn over and Caleb was still gazing at me. I gave him a questioning look, but he didn't react. His ever-present smile and light-heartedness were gone now. His features were serious, deep in thought, and I had a strong desire to know what he was thinking. He smiled sadly and turned away.

  What was that about? I wanted to go to him but there was no way, not with everyone around like this. Why did I care, anyway? I barely knew the guy. In three days he would be gone and I would never see him again. My heart constricted. The thought of not seeing him affected more than it should, and I scolded myself for feeling that way. I couldn't get attached to him. Caleb made it perfectly clear he had no intention of having girlfriends or marriage.

  What was he playing at then? He flirted with me and talked with me as though he liked me that way, but maybe that was his scene. Was he the kind of guy that left a trail of broken-hearted girls pining after him? I would have to be on my guard. I didn't want to leave heartbroken like Katie did every summer.

  Present Day

  I blinked again and eyed Katie, now feeling flustered. What had she asked? “I don’t know. I don’t even know what I was thinking. I just saw him, and I couldn’t not go to him.” My voice was quiet, and I looked away from Katie. I felt guilty enough about it without her scrutiny.

  Katie came and stood in front of me. “Why don’t you talk to him already? You two were good friends in a matter of a few days, years ago. Do you really think it would be weird or something? So much time has passed since then.”

  I shrugged.

  “Well, you’re both adults now. It’s not like you have some teenage crush on him anymore…right?” She raised her eyebrows at me, waiting for an answer.

  “No, of course not. It seems awkward after all of this time.”

  Katie smiled and took hold of my shoulders at arm’s length. “Just get it over with. Your weekend will be much more enjoyable without the pent-up anxiety over seeing him again. Besides, he’s very nice and very sweet. He would never make you feel awkward or out of place on purpose.”

  I nodded, but Katie was dead wrong. Caleb may not try to make me feel like that, but I was sure I’d endure nothing else.

  “Okay,” she said as she released a breath. “Get ready and I’ll see you downstairs.”

  I nodded and she walked out, closing the door behind her.

  Katie was right, I decided. And while I showered and got ready, I did something I hadn’t done in a long time. I let in all the memories from that weekend with Caleb. I thought of the first time I saw him under the waterfall, and what an idiot I had made of myself. Then there were the secrets we shared and the friendship that was created. It hurt at first. My emotions ran wild and I tried not let them affect me now as they did then. I kept our parting buried; I wasn’t ready to go there.

  By the time I was ready for dinner, I was actually looking forward to seeing Caleb again.

  CHAPTER 5

  When I entered the beautiful banquet room, I took a moment to appreciate the simple but pretty decor. Even the round tables had small bouquets of various flowers in shades of pink, purple, and white. They were just the right color to stand out on the cream linen tablecloths. I would have to pay my compliments to Holly again.

  Byron came to get me, leading me to a table. He pulled my chair out and I flashed him a grateful smile as I took my seat. Once next to me he kissed my cheek, but Bryce started up a conversation about the ATV store and took Byron’s attention from me.

  Leaving my room earlier, I’d felt completely confident; but now, knowing I could see Caleb at any minute, my hands were shaking. I looked around our table: Bryce and Parker were there, and Olivia too. As well as Cameron, Byron’s brother who also worked for Simon and Caleb. I hadn’t realized he was coming. Two seats remained empty and I leaned in, asking Olivia who else was sitting with us.

  “One’s for my husband, who’s not here this weekend,” she said coolly. “And I think the other one is for Caleb.”

  I smiled, and discreetly cast my eyes about the room. Katie winked at me from her table with Simon, his parents, and mine. My gaze moved to the last table that made up our party, but Caleb wasn’t anywhere that I could see. My mood fell considerably. I had worked myself up for this moment, but it looked like that wasn’t going to happen tonight.

  Dinner was good. Our table was the noisiest in the room, laughing loudly now and then at the ridiculous stories Olivia was sharing about her husband. Although she talked about him in a light manner, I sensed that something deeper was happening there. She could probably use someone to talk to. Maybe I would question her later when we were alone.

  As for the others, Parker seemed unable to put his phone down and I knew he would be texting with his best friend, Cassie. She was Byron’s sister, and while they were only friends, I could see in his eyes that she meant something more to him. Bryce was, of course, ogling Olivia. The poor woman couldn’t get a moment's peace with Bryce around. The only time his eyes left her was when Holly came busily in and out of the room and he would smirk at her. I rolled my eyes at how open he was with looking at women. Bryce had always been the promiscuous one of my brothers, and I wasn’t sure that he would ever settle on one woman.

  Cameron was someone I didn’t mind having at our table. He was charismatic and seemed to fit right in with my brothers; he and Parker were good friends. While Cameron smiled and joked with the others, there were quiet moments when he seemed to be far away. I would catch him staring at Simon and Katie with such a look of longing, I couldn’t help but ask, “Cameron, are you okay?” I was leaning toward him where he sat beside me, and his attention turned to me.

  “I’m alright,” he said with a polite smile, but it seemed forced. His light hair and brown eyes were much different than his brother’s. Byron’s eyes were a mix of green, brown, and gray all at once. They were some of the prettiest eyes I had ever seen. Cameron’s were softer though, and at the moment, on Simon and Katie once more.

  I followed his gaze. It was odd that we were all once children who bickered and played together. Now we were all grown and would be married off, starting families of our own. I looked at Byron as he talked with Olivia and wondered where he and I were headed. Did he love me? Did I love him? Could I see myself building a life and family with him? I watched a smile creep up on his face and realized he was watching me.

  “Penny for your thoughts?” he said in a hushed tone.

  I blinked, feeling shy. “Sorry. I was just thinking.”

  He tilted his head to the side and tucked my hair back from my face. “About what?”

  “You.”

  He smiled and glanced away before returning his gaze to me. “Do you want to get out of here?”

  I hesitated, thinking about his question, then nodded. We said goodbye to the others around our table, an odd atmosphere lingering. They each seemed melancholy in their own ways. Parker seemed to be pouting. Bryce was staring intently at Holly across the room, though not with his usual “hungry eyes.” Cameron still seemed deep in thought, but he had an overall sadness about him that tugged on my heart. Olivia also wore a sad frown as she watched us leave, and I couldn't help but feel bad for the whole table.

  “What’s the matter with e
veryone?” I asked Byron as we entered the lobby.

  He looked over. “What do you mean?”

  I took a minute, explaining my assessment of each of them, and he smiled knowingly. “Let’s see...I believe Parker is completely wrapped around my little sister’s finger, though she seems completely oblivious.”

  I nodded. “I guessed as much.”

  We started up the stairs and he continued. “Olivia, I think, is irritated with her husband. And I don’t know your other brother well enough to pinpoint his problem other than maybe he needs to get laid, with how he keeps checking every woman out that walks by.”

  I threw my head back and laughed at that. “You are probably right about that!” I kissed his cheek as we headed down my hall. “What about your brother? Is there something bothering Cameron? He seemed the most…” I pursed my lips looking for the right word. “Sad, I guess.”

  Byron took a breath, sighing as he let it out. We stood outside my door and faced each other. His sad smile took me by surprise. “He’s heartbroken. He made a lot of stupid mistakes that lead him to where he’s at and I don’t know if he’ll ever get over it. Over her.”

  My lips parted. It was certainly a heartbreaking thing to hear. “Who was she?”

  Byron brushed the back of his fingers along my cheek and shrugged a shoulder. “The one that got away.”

  “What a sad table we were at.”

  He took my hand. “Come on. Let’s take a walk outside before we turn in.”

  We meandered outside and started down a path to the lake. The sun was just setting, and the air was still and quiet. I let my mind wander in our comfortable silence and found myself thinking about Caleb again.

  Where was he? Why wasn’t he at dinner? Was he trying to avoid someone? My stomach turned. What if Caleb was avoiding me? Maybe it wasn’t luck all of those times I was able to avoid him at home. Was he avoiding me too? I felt terribly upset about it and suddenly wanted to be alone. I pulled Byron to a stop. “I’m sorry. I really don’t feel good. Do you mind if we cut this short?”