It Was Always You Read online

  “Caleb…you’re here,” Amy whispered as though she was just realizing it was me.

  I opened my eyes to hers and—

  Someone knocked at my door, making Amy jump, and I silently cursed whoever was there.

  “Caleb, are you okay in there?” Byron’s voice was on the other side of the door.

  Amy’s eyes widened in surprise and turned pleading. She must have thought I’d give her away, but she was dead wrong. I wasn’t going to give her up. I kept my eyes on Amy as I stepped to the side and cracked the door.

  “Hey man, I thought I heard a thud or something?” Byron asked again.

  I felt guilty when I saw Byron standing there, but not enough to let Amy go.

  “Yeah, I’m alright. I uh…tripped on something. I’m good though, thanks for checking on me. You are in the room next door, aren’t you?” My eyes flickered briefly to Amy. Her bottom lip was between her teeth and my hand twitched with the desire to shut the door in Byron’s face, but I resisted.

  “Yeah, I am,” Byron answered. “I’ll leave you to it. Goodnight then.”

  “See you in the morning.” I shut the door and leaned against it with my shoulder. I had no intention of letting her leave.

  “Thanks for that,” Amy mumbled, looking at her feet.

  She was pulling herself back from me; I could see it, and it made me want to keep her here forever. Amy kept her eyes on the floor as she skirted around me. I turned to see her touch the doorknob and my hand shot out to hers, stopping her.

  I didn’t want her to leave me, but I didn’t know what I could say to convince her not to go. I was desperate though. “Amy, stay…”

  AMY

  I stared at him, my voice a whisper. “You can’t be serious?” I surprised myself when I didn't turn him down.

  He tilted his head to the side. “I am. Stay. Just for a while; you’re already here. Come on.” He took my hand from the doorknob, and I let him.

  Caleb climbed onto the bed and scooted over to rest his back against the headboard. I hesitated near the edge of the bed, blinking at the sight of him. My heart beat a touch faster as I watched him move. Caleb’s golden hair was a tinge darker and a hint longer now, but only just, and it suited him. My eyes traveled the length of him, and I could see he was as fit now, as then. Now, though, he was a man. I couldn’t believe I was here with him again.

  I climbed onto the bed and sat next to him. We weren't too close to each other and I was glad for the breathing space. My heart hadn’t stopped racing since I heard those two words that only Caleb could say to get my blood pulsing. As soon as he had said, ‘hey girl,’ I knew it wasn’t Byron and I had made a horrible mistake.

  “Well?” Caleb’s voice caught my attention and I could only look over. He smiled at me and I raised an eyebrow.

  “You got your way, as always, now what?” I asked with a timidly.

  He chuckled. “How are you, Amy?”

  I laughed nervously and looked down. “I’m…fine, I guess.” I couldn't think of what to say. How did I even get into this situation? I had done a superb job avoiding Caleb and here I was, the first night away, and I found myself on his bed.

  “I want you to talk to me. Tell me about yourself and your life.” His smile was kind, but I wondered what his angle was. I didn't know him now, not like I once did.

  I took a deep breath and let it out before I answered. “Let’s see... I broke up with my boyfriend last year, then I moved with Katie to Montana. I don’t care much for my job and I’m the maid of honor at the wedding this weekend. That pretty much sums up my dull life.”

  “Wow,” he said.

  “Wow, what?”

  “That is dull,” he teased, with a matter-of-fact look.

  I laughed and shook my head. “I don’t know; what do you want to know?”

  “Everything.”

  I gave him a skeptical look. “Why?”

  “Because you’ve been avoiding me since you moved to Helena. Now is my only chance to catch up.” He folded his arms across his chest, waiting for more.

  “That’s not true,” I shook my head. “You never seem to be at the shop when I come. I’m not avoiding you.”

  “Simon told me that you avoid me. And you only come to the shop when I’ sm gone.” He waited.

  Dang it, Simon! “Oh, well…” My mouth moved soundlessly, and I sighed in defeat. “I’m sorry about that.” I hung my head. I didn't know what else to say.

  “Ha!” Caleb laughed once and poked me in the ribs. “I got you. Simon didn’t say anything to me. I tricked you.” He grinned victoriously.

  I tsked. “You idiot. And here I was feeling bad for you.” I picked up a spare pillow and hit him with it. He put his arms up in a half-hearted attempt to stop me.

  “If you didn’t want me to feel bad, you should have visited me by now.” His voice was light and so was his smile, but I could see in his eyes that he spoke truthfully and it sobered me.

  I swallowed. “I’m sorry Caleb, I just…” I just, what? Why did I fight so hard against seeing him again? Right now, in his company, I couldn't come up with a single reason. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, looking down at the pillow on my lap.

  “Don’t beat yourself up about it. I knew you’d come around eventually. You couldn't avoid me forever if you and Byron keep dating. And we were bound to see each other this weekend.” His voice had an edge at Byron’s name.

  Guilt hit me again, because sitting here with Caleb. I had completely forgotten about Byron.

  I changed the subject. “Speaking of your shop—it really is awesome. I can’t believe how well you guys have done this year.”

  “Thanks. It's been a lot of work and I've put in some long hours, but things are going well now.” He smiled at me and it was a struggle not to stare at that dimple I had missed all these years.

  “You said you wanted to own your own business one day; I’m happy for you.”

  He nodded. His eyes seemed unable to move from my face and I liked that much more than I should. “So,” he said. “What do you think of Katie and Simon getting hitched? I know Simon’s been completely whipped since I have known him.” Caleb rolled his eyes playfully.

  I laughed. “A lot longer than that. Katie and Simon have been in love with each other their whole lives. It’s just a shame they went so long until finally admitting it.”

  Caleb was quiet with a peculiar look on his face. “Yep, that is a shame.” He kept his eyes on me and I was getting lost in him again, an old but familiar pull tugging at me.

  “I had better go,” I said quietly, though I made no move to leave.

  Caleb nodded once. “If that’s what you want.”

  My mouth opened and closed again. What I wanted and what I needed at that moment were two different things; that thought pushed me off the bed. I turned back to Caleb, folding my arms across my chest. “I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then,” I offered.

  Caleb scooted off the bed and walked me to the door. I reached for the handle but hesitated. What is wrong with me? I couldn't make myself leave, I just stood there…

  I felt Caleb’s hand on my arm, and I looked up at his serious face. He pulled me to him for a hug. “It’s good to see you again, Amy.”

  My hands were at his bare chest between us, and before I could even sort through all the feelings being in his arms inspired, he let go, opening the door for me. He checked the hall before stepping aside. I walked out and looked back; Caleb gazed at me for a long moment before he blinked a few times. “Good night, Amy.” He closed the door quietly.

  I walked back to my room in a complete daze. What in the world had just happened? One minute I was bound and determined to be in Byron’s arms, and I found myself in Caleb’s instead.

  My emotions were all over the place and I was suddenly exhausted, happy to fall into my bed. I fell asleep with the memory of Caleb’s arms around me.

  CHAPTER 8

  The next morning, I laid there thinking about seeing Caleb the n
ight before. My dreams through the night were full of him and Byron. I was deep in thought over them and jumped when Katie came through my door.

  “Were you asleep? I knocked three times.” Katie said as she climbed on my bed and sat in front of me.

  I wondered if I should tell Katie about seeing Caleb the night before, but for whatever reason I wanted to keep it my little secret, unless Caleb had already given me away.

  “No, I wasn’t asleep. I was thinking about the day ahead.”

  Katie nodded. “I know. I’m excited to do the ziplining but I hope I don’t chicken out when it comes to it.”

  I laughed. “I love ziplining.”

  Katie nodded. Her hands were fidgeting, and she gave me a curious look.

  “What?” I asked.

  “Well…” She began reluctantly.

  “Katie, spill,” I pressed her.

  “I just thought that I should warn you; Caleb is coming with us now.” Katie scrunched her face like she was waiting for me to attack, and I giggled.

  “It’s okay. I was bound to see him at some point.” I shrugged.

  Katie blinked. “That’s it? I was prepared to fight you on locking yourself in your room all day to avoid him.”

  I shrugged again and she narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Did something happen? Have you seen him already?”

  I shook my head. “I’ve decided to be an adult about everything. You know, fake it ‘till you make it, and all that.” Katie wasn't convinced, so I distracted her. “Anyway, don’t worry about me. What about you? Only one more day and you will be Mrs. Simon Curtis. Can you believe it?”

  Katie smiled wistfully. “No. It’s finally here.” She hopped off the bed. “I’m going to see Simon and get ready to go. Don’t go back to sleep because we leave in an hour.” She had her hand on her hip and pointed a finger at me.

  I rolled my eyes dramatically. “Yes, mother.”

  Katie laughed and skipped out of the room.

  I was just finishing my morning routine when there was a knock at my door. It was Byron. He had a muffin in one hand and an orange juice in the other. I smiled at him and wondered how I ever could've gotten distracted by Caleb.

  “Good morning.” He leaned in and kissed my cheek.

  “You are so awesome. I haven't eaten yet.” I took my breakfast from him and sat in the chair at the small table.

  Byron put his hands in his pockets. “I figured you probably hadn't eaten yet. You must have slept in late, what with your late night and all.”

  I choked a morsel on the bite of muffin and had to take a drink to clear my throat.

  How did he know? My stomach dropped and I was suddenly not hungry anymore. I kept my eyes on my food as I questioned him. “What do you mean?”

  “I came to your room last night and you were gone. I figured you were in with Katie or whatever so...”

  I breathed with relief.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, eyeing me with concern.

  “Hmm? Oh yeah. I was…with Katie last night, I mean.” I nodded a few times.

  He smiled cautiously at my strange behavior.

  “Anyway, it was too bad I missed you because I could’ve used you snuggling me to sleep last night.” I stood and put my arms around his neck. He kissed me once and I rested my chin on his shoulder.

  “Are you excited to go ziplining?” he asked.

  “Yes. I loved it the first time I went.”

  I had just placed a small kiss on Byron’s neck and looked over his shoulder. Caleb was outside my door. He was walking by and stalled for a few seconds when his eyes found mine. My heart beat a little faster as I watched his lips turn up. I hadn't seen him in the light of day yet; he was gorgeous. His black shirt made his blonde hair stand out and I bit my lip to keep from smiling in pleasure. Caleb winked before he disappeared from view. I closed my eyes, remembering whose arms I was in.

  “Are you ready to go?” Byron asked, pulling away from me.

  I looked at his handsome face. How was Caleb able to distract me so easily? Byron was attractive, sweet, and I was lucky enough to call him mine. I kissed him before nodding. “I’m ready.”

  The guide my parents hired for the weekend drove the first jeep with my parents, Parker, and Cameron. Simon’s family was in another jeep with Bryce; leaving Simon, Katie, Bryon, Caleb, and myself to the last jeep.

  As Byron and I made our way to the vehicles, I could see Caleb watching me. There was no helping the flutter in my stomach each time I saw him.

  This is going to be awkward.

  The first thing I noticed as we joined everyone was Katie and her very watchful eyes. Next was Caleb, standing casually with his arms folded and a polite smile. “Hey, Amy, how are you? It’s good to see you again.” he said it as though last night had never happened.

  I was proud of myself for my quick response as I returned his polite smile. “Hi, Caleb. It’s nice to see you. How have you been?”

  Caleb’s lips twitched at my acting. “I’m great.” He put his sunglasses on, then turned and got in the jeep.

  Katie tried to mask her suspicion, but I could see it in the way her eyes flickered back and forth between Caleb and me. After a moment, she collected herself and opened the front passenger door. “Simon is going to drive so you two are in the back with Caleb.” She said it fast and jumped into the front seat before I could argue.

  Byron patted my back. “Go ahead. I’m right behind you.”

  I glanced at him and turned to the back door. Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath to calm my nerves, but it was all moot when opening the door to Caleb. He was talking with Simon and glanced my way as I climbed in. When I squished in next to him, I was certain that whisper of a mocking smile was because of our situation. He rolled his lips in before turning his attention out his window. Byron sat beside me and reached for my hand, holding it on my leg and winking at me. A tingle of warm affection settled over me for Byron. He really was a special man. I leaned forward and kissed Byron’s cheek before laying my head on his shoulder, determined to have a normal, nice time with him. Simon started up the jeep and our convoy was off.

  I may have had my hand clasped in Byron’s and my head on his shoulder, but the only thing I was aware of was Caleb’s body touching mine. I tried to ignore it but once we got on the rougher trail, we were all shaken about and bumped into one another. At one point I was thrown into Caleb and put my hand on his leg to steady myself. I mumbled an apology and folded my arms across my chest so it wouldn't happen again.

  After reaching our destination, I was so relieved to get out that I said, “Hallelujah,” and earned myself a chuckle from Caleb as he climbed out.

  “What’s wrong? Was that ride a touch too rough for you?” Byron asked when I scrambled out behind him.

  “Yeah, it was rough for me.” I muttered, though we spoke about two different things, and I heard Caleb chuckle again.

  When we reached the grassy clearing on the cliff above the lake, the instructor droned on for a few minutes. Katie flew over the water on the zipline leaving Byron, Caleb, and myself to follow. How we ended up last together was beyond me. Byron was getting ready while listening to the instructor and I stepped back to give him some room. Caleb stood beside me and gave Byron a friendly hard time. They were funny to listen to and I giggled at their banter. I thought about the awkward ride here and realized it was only awkward for me. Byron and Caleb worked together all the time. They were friends, good friends. I decided right there that I would try and make the best of it. Caleb was a friend of mine and of Byron’s. It didn't mean I couldn't talk with him; as a friend we could talk all we liked.

  I shoved Caleb playfully. “Leave him be.”

  “Don’t worry about me, Amy. I can handle it,” Byron said. He stepped to me for a kiss before he jumped. I smiled as I watched him, and the instructor turned to me.

  “Are you ready, miss?” he asked.

  I got a sudden burst of anxiety as I nodded and came forward. The instructor
talked through the jump and I nodded along, though I didn't hear much of it. I was starting to feel sick and shaky and had to breathe deep a few times.

  “Are you ready, then?” I heard him ask but my head spun. I could feel the blood leaving my face and my body swayed.

  “Amy, are you okay?” Caleb’s voice sounded distant. My body tingled, and everything went black.

  “Amy? Amy, can you hear me?” It was Caleb’s voice and my eyes opened slowly.

  My lower half was on the ground and Caleb held the rest of me in his arms. I focused on his blue eyes hovering over me, which were puckered with concern.

  “Amy, are you okay? Say something, please.”

  “Hey,” I said weekly.

  His lips turned up. “Hey, girl. You passed out on me. What happened?”

  “I don’t know. I was pretty nervous, but I got shaky and sick.”

  “Have you had anything to eat today?” he asked, placing his hand on my face. It felt so nice, I turned into it and sighed. I heard Caleb chuckle. “I think maybe you’re still a little out of it.” I reached up placing my hand over his to keep him there and peeked at him with my one eye.

  “No, I haven’t eaten today,” I said in his hand.

  His lips formed a hard line. “I thought Byron was going to get you something to eat...”

  The choked-on bite of muffin came to mind. “He did, but I couldn’t choke it down.”

  Caleb shook his head. “You can’t zipline like this. You’ll pass out on the way down.”

  He lifted me into a sitting position on his lap. I knew I should probably get up, but I didn't move.

  “Come on. We can take one of the jeeps back to the lodge,” he said, patting my back.

  My heart skipped—alone with Caleb again. I nodded.

  “Do you mind if we take one of the jeeps back?” Caleb asked the instructor.